Hey friends,
Today I’m coming to you with something a little more raw and unfiltered. Life has been frustrating lately. I feel like I’m navigating this tricky balance of being the “giver,” the one who shows up for everyone, but I’m wondering… when does someone show up for me?
Here’s the thing—I’ve always been the helper. Whether it’s with my family, my friends, in my job, or with my athletes, I’ve always found joy in going above and beyond to make a difference in people’s lives. I’ll give my all, expecting nothing in return. I do things to make people happy, to make them feel valued, and honestly, to be liked. I know deep down that my worth shouldn’t be based on whether or not someone likes me, but it’s hard to not feel that tug when you’re always the one putting in the effort.
In my friendships, I’m usually the one reaching out, making plans, initiating those “let’s hang out” texts. I genuinely care about these people, but sometimes I stop and wonder, if I didn’t reach out, would anyone notice? Would anyone make that same effort for me?
In my past relationship, I was the same way. I’d go out of my way to make my partner feel special—whether it was planning something thoughtful, being there when they needed me, or just doing small things to show I cared. But now, looking back, I wonder why I felt like I always had to prove my worth in these relationships. Why did I feel like I needed to do the most to be enough?
And let’s talk about work. I love my job, but I tend to take on way more than I need to. I want my athletes to feel like they’re getting everything they need from me, that I’m their biggest cheerleader, the one who always goes the extra mile for them. Same with everyone part of the program. But in doing that, I’ve noticed I’m running myself into the ground. There are days when I’m exhausted, both mentally and emotionally, and yet I keep pouring out.
I guess I’m just tired. Tired of feeling like I’m always giving and never receiving. It’s not that I want people to repay me or do things for me just because I do things for them. It’s more that I wonder… when will I have someone who goes above and beyond for me other than my parents? Who thinks of the little things? Who shows up for me, just because they want to?
I know I shouldn’t keep score. The Bible reminds us in Galatians 6:9, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” But if I’m being honest, it’s hard not to feel weary when it feels like I’m the one always giving, always trying, and never receiving that same energy in return.
I’ve been trying to figure out what God is doing in my life through all of this. Is He trying to teach me patience? Is He showing me that I need to set boundaries? Am I supposed to stop trying so hard, and just let things be?
In Matthew 11:28-30, Jesus says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”
Maybe that’s the answer. Maybe it’s time to lean into God even more and people less. I’ve been relying so much on the idea that people should notice my efforts, that they should somehow reciprocate the love I give. But perhaps God is reminding me that true rest, true peace, comes from Him, not from the approval or validation of others.
It’s a hard pill to swallow because I do want that connection and that feeling of being appreciated. But maybe this season is about learning that it’s okay to stop trying to please everyone, that it’s okay to set boundaries, and that my worth isn’t tied to how much I give or how much I do for others.
I’m still figuring it out. I’m still learning to trust that God’s plan for me is good, even when I feel drained, even when I don’t understand why things are the way they are.
If you’ve felt like this too, you’re not alone. Let’s remind each other that we are enough, just as we are, and that God sees our efforts even when others don’t. And maybe, just maybe, it’s time for us to give ourselves the grace and love that we so freely give to others.
Love always. 💛
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